


breaking point

by lokingud



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Asgard, Hurt, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Magic, Minor Jane Foster/Thor, Other, Pain, Parent Frigga (Marvel), Post-Thor: The Dark World, Protective Frigga (Marvel), Protective Thor (Marvel), powers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:26:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26686624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lokingud/pseuds/lokingud
Summary: 'You are not my mother'. Loki had been determined. But now that everything was crumbling around him and with Algrim/Kurse escaping the dungeon, he has to act. Suddenly, Loki is not the one in control over his powers anymore.
Relationships: Frigga | Freyja & Loki (Marvel), Loki/Thor (Marvel)
Kudos: 27





	breaking point

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! :D  
> I'm new to this fandom and as you might have guessed, English is not my native language xD, but since the german Marvel Fandom is pretty much dead and buried, I thought I'd try my luck on this website.  
> Hope you enjoy!

**1 st chapter – Loki**  
  
The captive fled. Asgards king and his catch-farts threw themselves in the battle, and my dear brother tried to save Midgard. Again. ‘If I were King, Asgard wouldn’t face these problems. If I were king, if I were king…’ but I wasn’t, and if it were up to Odin, I’d never be. I would rot in my prison cell and never see the light of day again. Unhasting, I strolled to the table with my books, took the one I had already opened, and continued reading. This stupid shindy out there had interrupted my lesson.  
Rude.  
So, where did I stop? Ah yes, right…  
“This way! Go and catch her!” a growl echoed through the masonry of the dungeon. “I want her _alive_!”  
Mother…  
I raised my head up in the exact moment my mother came running to my cell. In her hand, she held the sword of one of the king’s guards. She looked at me with her ever so loving blue eyes, filled with gloom and the fire of a thousand burning flames. For just a moment, time seemed to stop. Just like my heart did. If I didn’t know any better, I would’ve been confident that there was no beating and functioning heart in my chest anymore. But in this moment where I could read all of her emotions like a children’s book, I realized that I was wrong. It was still beating. It beat painfully against my chest and it tightened even more intensely. It cramped again and again. I couldn’t breathe.  
  
She didn’t fear them. No, mother was not the type to fear anyone, she was the one to be feared. It wasn’t fear that reflected in her ever so warm eyes, it was something else. Concern. Concern for Thor and Odin, who were risking their lives to protect Asgard from a completely preventable seizure of power.  
“Loki you are _save_.”, she whispered and turned in the direction from which the heavy footsteps resounded. “You are save.”, she repeated while raising her sword just in the right moment to repel the first attack.  
She wasn’t concerned for Odin or Thor…  
She was concerned for…me?  
Metal crashed into metal, she moved fast and precise.  
Everything I knew, I knew from her. Everything I learned, I learned from her. And I knew to use my powers wise because magic isn’t something you can endlessly draw on, you had to learn how much power you could use. How much you could impose on yourself. I knew it from her. How to play with matter.  
  
You are safe.  
Yes, I was safe in my vitreous cage from any danger that may await outside, but I wasn’t and would never be safe from the horrors that lay within. From what was raging inside of me. There was no escaping it. No glass panes thick enough, no cell ward ready to sacrifice himself. There was no escaping it.  
 _You are safe_.  
  
My hands were shaking heavily and there was a thin layer of sweat on my skin, even though I never sweat. One or two of these monsters wouldn’t be a problem, but Odin practically opened the gate to thousands of these monsters and showed them around. My apprehension had weakened in this cell, but I knew my mother couldn’t take on twenty of them. Twenty of them, looking at her with burning desire. _Death to the queen!_  
The trembling of my hands crept its way up through my arms and slowly touched every cell of my body. Hands clenched in fists, my whole body tightened, and my eyes darted on those creatures, I stood in silence. They surrounded her, attacked from every possible point, just waiting for their chance to chance to pierce their sword through her ribcage, to behead her, to suffocate her until no oxygen particle would ever be able to find its way into her lungs. _Death to the queen!_  
  
But there was something else stirring inside of me. A little spark that I thought could never grow into a cataclysmic forest fire. Despair.  
  
Kneel, that’s what I said and now I was the one brought to my knees. Doomed to watch my mother die. Isolated in my glass cage, every cell of my body filled with the deepest despair, which grew and grew, making me feel like I might burst.  
Everything I knew, I knew from her. Everything I learned, I learned from her. My right hand cautiously touched the glass wall, even though an intense electrical shock made my body tense and my jaw clenched, gritting my teeth.  
Loki had everything under control. He never lost control of himself, no unwanted emotions showing on his face, no unnecessary, stupid self-loath would ever take control. Maintain your composure Loki…  
  
 _‘Chin up darling. Don’t let them see you cry.’, Frigga gently caressed the cheek of her youngest, comfortingly stroked his hair, and lifted his head. ‘Can you do that for my brave little fighter?’  
_ Metal crashed into metal.  
 _Frigga put her lips against Loki’s forehead and softly pressed a small kiss against it. The little boy sniffed exhausted, trembling and clutching onto her robe.  
‘You need to learn how to control it. Our magic is very strong Loki. And with every day that you grow bigger, so does your magic, but you are the one in charge. You can control it, I know it.’  
_She moved fast.  
 _The little boy's sobs slowly subsided. ‘I didn’t mean to throw Thor through the room mother. I-I didn’t know I was able to.’  
_ Precise.  
 _Loki looked at her with his big green, tear-filled eyes, on the edge of bursting out in tears again.  
‘Everything is alright baby. Don’t worry, it’ll get better.’  
_Calculated.  
 _Dinner had been nothing but ordinary until Thor started scaring his brother. He fantasized about glorious battles against monsters from other realms, picturing them with red eyes that pierced through the night, claws like razor blades, ready to tear Loki apart when he slept. By this point Frigga wanted to intervene, knowing fully well that her youngest was already battling against fear-inducing nightmares, whilst Odin on the other hand just laughed at his son’s imagination. But before Frigga could say a word, Loki’s body tensed. That’s it. His limbs went numb and his muscles contracted, but this little movement was enough to create an energy field so strong that it tossed Thor across the room, followed by the food they had just been eating. Even Frigga and Odin had to clutch the massive table.  
_  
For the longest time, I could grasp the intensity and variety of my powers. Even now, years later, I wasn’t fully aware of what I am able to do. But what I did know was that there were powers inside of me that rather stayed hidden. Powers that had always scared me…  
…and even today, they still do…  
  
 _‘Loki baby, calm down. Everything is alright.’_  
Her sword fell on the ground.  
 _The boy was still tense, his eyes darting from left to right, unsure of what to say, what to do. He had hurt his brother. This beautiful magic – his magic – that would create illusions so overwhelmingly gorgeous – it hurt someone. Loki knew the pain that came with forming illusions or shapeshifting, the sting was familiar to him, like a pair of shoes that you like so much you won’t take them off, even though they are too small and hurt your feet. But now this magic hurt someone he loved.  
Creating flowers and Midgard ducklings.  
Throwing people across rooms.  
Laying in bed, painting the ceiling with stars.  
Accidentally setting mother's book on fire when touching it.  
‘You can control it.’, Frigga continued.  
_She was surrounded.  
 _The queen wanted nothing more than to take his little trembling hand in hers and assure him that he was okay, but Frigga was painfully aware that as long as Loki was not able to control his powers she should better not invade his space. None of them knew a thing about the entirety of his magic._  
  
Composure Loki, composure. I let my hand sink down and took some steps back. I couldn’t watch her die. No! NO!  
Control was important. Control was the only way to tame my magic and now I was about to lose it. I wasn’t in charge anymore. Lost myself in emotions. Despair. Fear.  
  
 _Volstagg grabbed the dagger from the rass and approached Loki. Like always in summer Thor and his friends played War against Jotunheim. But today marked a special day because Loki had decided to join in.  
‘I will chop your head off, Frost Giant!”, Volstagg laughed and took a leap. Moving fast he tore the fragile Loki to the ground with him, firmly grasping the knife. “For Asgard!”, he yelled and wanted to stab him, but the younger one was versatile and could escape. He stumbled back.  
“Volstagg…”, Thor hissed. He had a feeling. A strange feeling in his gut that told him this wasn’t a good idea anymore. He knew what was going on in his brother’s mind – or at least he always thought he did. He always just knew.  
Loki took a second step back.  
“Volstagg, stop it. You are scaring him.”  
The ginger-haired boy didn’t even think about not finishing it. Fury in his eyes, he took another leap, but before he could reach Loki, the dark-haired boy had sprawled out his hands in front of him, eyes shut tightly, his head turned to the left._  
  
Fear had always been the reason I’d lost control.  
  
 _“Volstagg!”  
Loki opened his eyes only to realize that he was in fact not injured, but that the older one was frozen. Everyone looked at him in shock. He had just turned one of Thor’s friends into an ice statue.  
_  
Desperately I squinted my eyes, the room seemed to move. Everything was moving. It needed to stop! I buried both hands in my hair, nearly ripping out strands of hair. Memory followed by memory forced its way into my consciousness, filled every corner of my mind, in an everlasting interplay with the face of my fighting mother. It was too much. I realized a bloodcurdling scream.  
“AAAH!”  
Glass shattered. It clinked horribly loud when the windows busted out of my cell and shattered into a thousand pieces. I needed a moment to close my eyes and catch my breath. This had never happened before. Never. I stumbled over the remains of my cell, over the furniture, and shards until I reached my mother.  
I felt worn out and weak, but I had to stay strong.  
“You need to leave.”  
My opponents picked themselves up again, but the queen didn’t move. She would rather die in combat than to be seen running away. But I couldn’t allow that. I reached for her sword and created an illusion that showed her running off, whilst keeping her invisible to my opponents’ eyes. Gathering my last power, I ensured she didn’t move away from the dungeon's wall. I needed her to be safe.  
  
But I was weak. Keeping myself on my legs became more and more difficult, my field of vision reduced, and I could feel my heart pound in every corner of my body. Blood was pumped through my body at such a fast pace that I felt like I might just implode. I could feel my heartbeat everywhere. Everywhere.  
My muscles were aching. I couldn’t hold this up any longer. Slowly I dissolved the illusion, I couldn’t uphold it anymore. It hurt. I fought them. I really did. With every cell of my being, but in the end, I couldn’t save her. Kurse grabbed her violently, raising his sword and pressing the blade against her abdomen.  
  
‘Of course I love you darling. And I will always love you.’  
‘Really? Even though father doesn’t?’  
‘Always, Loki.’  
  
More footsteps. Thor and Odin entered the dungeon, a knife pierced through my mother. Kurse locked eyes with me…  
…he stabbed the only person that ever mattered to me. The one who was dear to me.  
“No!”, I heard my brother's muffled scream. Another ear-piercing scream released itself from my larynx and I stomped on the floor, leaving a small crater before I collapsed to the cold ground.  
  
 **1 st chapter – Thor**  
  
Something was wrong. Over the years the connection to my brother had weakened. It was almost impossible to get through to him, to find a glimpse of my brother somewhere in there, I always had that glimmer of hope. It was a faint, barely noticeable feeling, but I knew that something was wrong.  
“Father, the dungeon!”, I yelled and took off. Through the dining hall and downstairs, following a narrow hallway enlightened with torches. It felt like an eternity. And even though my brother had betrayed me again and again, even though he pulled the wool over my eyes ever so often to approach his dream of the throne, and even though he nearly destroyed my dear earth, I was still worried sick. Every thought revolved around my little brother. Loki. Loki. Loki. I had failed to protect my little brother from the cruelty of this world, but maybe there was still hope. Just a glimpse of hope that I could still protect him.  
  
My way was paved with dead bodies. Soldiers and dark elves everywhere. Truly a bloody encounter. In the past, it would have tingled the tips of my fingers to encounter such a fight, knee-deep in our enemies' blood. Mjolnir raised. But at this moment, I didn’t feel this tingling sensation, it didn’t thrill me that we were winning, I had to make sure everything was okay first. I had to make sure that mother and Loki were fine. And Jane. Some of the servants had brought her to the west wing and I knew they would make sure she was safe. They would give their lives to fulfill my orders, but Loki and mothers were surely not hiding somewhere. Loki was basically exhibited on a serving tray and my mother was the queen of Asgard, she would fight, defend her kingdom. And every innocent citizen along with it.  
Finally, I reached the end of the stairs, my father still following me. He too knew that something was off.  
  
“Frigga!”  
I was glued to the spot. Mother collapsed in front of our eyes, deceased at the hands of Kurse. My grip around Mjolnir tightened, ready to revenge our mother, but my eyes were fixed on Loki. He stood between ten of these monsters, eyes on our mother. I could see the sorrow reflecting in his eyes. The sorrow, the hate, the despair, and rage. Just a moment later his eyes were scanning the room, unsure of what to do, once again the small, terrified boy who would burst out in tears at any moment.  
He let out a horrible, horrible scream that made the massive ceiling lamps tremble, along with a tremble that reminded me of an earthquake. Dust swirled up and the dark elves dropped dead.  
Even father and I were swept off of our feet. It was as if an electric shock went through my body, forcing me on my knees. I had never experienced Loki’s powers getting out of control like this.  
When I regained my balance and took a deep breath the dust settled, revealing my little brother, laying consciousness on the ground.  
“Shit.”  
I hurried up to reach him and just when I fell on my knees next to him I realized that the walls of his cell had burst.  
“Father, we need Eir!”  
Carefully, I embraced my brother's frail body. His skin was pale and coated with a thin layer of sweat.  
“Loki brother, can you hear me? Please, open your eyes.”  
I knew that his powers had reached a level that made them a dangerous weapon. My mother had shared them with him when he was still pretty young, but his eagerness to learn made him a far better sorcerer than her. I remember how he created illusions for himself to hide from the world. His magic was his shelter, a safe haven, but it also demanded a lot.  
“Mother…”, it was just a small whimper, but I heard it loud and clear.  
Exasperated he tried to open his eyes, but the exhaustion was too much for his body.  
“Shhh…calm down Loki, Eir is on her way. You used a lot of your power. Rest now.”  
His eyes drooped, and he slipped back into unconsciousness. I held him in my arms a little while longer. My heart ached. He was my little brother and I was supposed to protect him…


End file.
